Why is it so lonely on Google+?

Supposedly, there are over 60 million people on Google+.  However, if you actually go to your Google+ page at any given moment, you will see… well, pretty much nothing.  On a clear day you can see posts back to November on a single page, whereas on Facebook you may barely get through the morning with stale stuff on your feed.

Therein lies the problem – Facebook.  Much as Google enthusiasts (engoogliasts?) like to point out the superiority of the Google product, it just isn’t different enough to capture interest.

Let’s put it this way.  Say you have a friend named Herman.  He’s pretty cool, and every Saturday night he has a party with 125 of your closest friends.

Now let’s say Herman has a twin brother named Sherman, who only recently moved to town.  Sherman and Herman are those type of twins which aren’t quite identical but aren’t different enough to be fraternal.   As a result, Sherman needs corrective lenses and is slightly more nerdy.

Sherman and Herman are sort of on the outs, so Sherman wants to have his own party and not go to Herman’s.

So he invites you and everyone you know.  Most people politely accept his invitation, but when Saturday night rolls along and it’s time to go to Herman’s party, everyone kind of forgets about poor Sherman.  You and your lot go ahead to Herman’s, where he has a pinata, fruity drinks, and FarmVille.

Caught up in the moment, you suddenly remember Sherman and decide maybe you should check out his place.  But when you get there, it’s just a bunch of nerds sitting around talking about Android kernels and search engine algorithms.

You yawn, and politely repeat the same story that you told at Herman’s party, about your hilarious toaster experience.  They stare at you blankly and then all goes silent.  Feeling self-conscious, you slip out the bathroom window and back to Herman’s party, where you discover your neighbor harvested your corn crop for you while you were gone.  And all is well.

While there was nothing really wrong with Sherman’s party, all your friends were back at Herman’s, and by the time you got to Sherman’s your stories were as stale as your toast.  And since there were no pinatas there, you just feel more comfortable at the place where they are.

So that pretty much sums it up.  Google+ is doomed to play the role of Sherman, unless it does something super cool to differentiate itself, like get a hot tub or start a fight club.